


Of Neckties and Confidence

by WinryWeiss



Series: We’re starting over at One! (Doof 101) [2]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alternate Universe – Human, Doof 101, Friends & Family, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Insecurity, M/M, Mute Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Mute!Perry, Post-Canon, Self-Indulgent, Slice of Life, The Art of Necktie Knots, character with practically non-existent self-esteem (looking at you Dr.D.), dealing with insecurities, human!Perry AU, not MML compliant, partners, pre-“O.W.C.A. Files”, though he’s gradually getting better, “Doof 101” AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22259827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinryWeiss/pseuds/WinryWeiss
Summary: In which, before the first day of his new career, doctor Doofenshmirtz contemplates not only his fashion choices.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus, Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Series: We’re starting over at One! (Doof 101) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588567
Comments: 14
Kudos: 173





	Of Neckties and Confidence

**Author's Note:**

> Part of Doof’s monologue taken directly from the episode “Doof 101”.
> 
> Also, proofreading kindly provided by [Legend_Has_It](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legend_Has_It/pseuds/Legend_Has_It)

The dark purple of the necktie really complemented the lime green of his button-up shirt. These colours look good together, Heinz conceded. And no one would be able to convince him otherwise.

And _yet_ …

It looked _inappropriate_ on him.

A white lab coat over a thick black turtleneck accompanied by slacks, that was him. That _used_ to be him, for so long that he now stared at own reflection in the mirror, struggling to recognise himself. And it suited him just fine, the undescriptive pharmacist became a synonym of his person.

 _But_ , new life, new job, new clothes.

He’s turning over a brand-new leaf, he _needs_ to look professional, he wants to make a good impression, he wants to…

He wants to tie this damned necktie, _that’s what he wants!_

Heinz growled out loud out of frustration, fumbling with the tie. He only managed to mess up the poor attempt at Windsor knot into something resembling the fabled Gordian knot.

Heinz glared at the mess around his neck.

Like his life, all tangled up and chaotic. Impossible to tell where it starts, impossible to tell where it is heading to, an enigma just like him. What is he _even_ thinking, he doesn’t have any right…

A soft churr broke into his gloom.

Perry was leaning on the doorframe of Heinz bedroom. Arms crossed, a quizzical expression on his face, his piercing brown eyes seemed softer behind the glasses he wears while not in duty. He was dressed casually, in a T-shirt of bright colour and plain trousers, his fedora absent. Not a suave agent, but an uncle who doesn’t do much.

Heinz was still unused to his nemesis looking like this.

So casual. So content. A completely different person.

He wonders whether he would ever get used to this.

He wonders whether he even has any right to get used to this.

“I cannot tie this goddamn thing!” he complained, tugging at the hangman’s noose around his neck.

Perry shook his head in mock exasperation. He walked towards his partner with a small gesture Heinz long ago decoded as asking for an allowance.

Waiting for his former nemesis to come closer, Heinz felt his body react to Perry’s proximity, desiring the touch and the warmth that come with it. He forced himself to stand still.

Perry chuckled and started to unwind the mess of the knot.

Heinz bounced on the balls of his heels, clutching his hands behind his back. He managed to stay silent for a whole minute before he succumbed to his vice and started rambling: “You know, I’m still not completely sure whether it is really a good idea for me to impart upon these young sponge-like minds all my vast knowledge of evil science…”

Perry tilted his head and raised one eyebrow questioningly, a smile on his lips. His fingers skilfully started to weave a new knot.

“I mean science,” rectified Heinz. “That’s right. Regular old science. No evil at all. In fact, I’ve crossed out the world evil whenever it appears in my old textbooks. So, this should be a piece of cake. Speaking of cakes, maybe I can bake Schwarzwald this weekend, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Last time you eat it almost all by yourself, and _how did you do this?_ ” Heinz marvelled at the elaborate knot. “Is that Eldridge?”

Perry smirked and tightened the tie to perfection. Slowly and deliberately he pulled at it, compelling his partner even closer to give him a soft peck on the cheek.

Then he let go of Heinz, crossed his arms and looked at him critically. Raising his finger in a gesture to wait, he rummaged through Heinz’ closet and pulled out a pristine lab coat. He helped Heinz into it, smoothening the lapels.

 _That’s more like you_ , he signed.

Heinz idly caressed the familiar fabric. “Yes,” he agreed. “Yes, this feels a lot better.” Moreover, it felt _right_. He smiled at the shorter man. “Thank you, Perry the Platypus.”

Perry smiled and spread his arms in expectation of a hug.

Heinz practically tackled him, hiding his face in Perry’s hair, drawing strength from the welcoming warmth. “It’s just I…” he halted hesitantly.

Perry nudged him.

“I don’t want to mess this up,” confessed Heinz. “You know me.”

Perry encased him in his arms and hummed softly, the meaning more than clear: _As if I’d ever let you cock-up a single thing._

True, it took _a lot_ of effort and thinking outside of the box (and sore muscles and working _impossible_ hours) to not let Heinz Doofenshmirtz undermine himself, but Perry had several summers worth of experience.

High school couldn’t possibly be harder, could it?


End file.
